The Days Are Long But The Years Are Short

That old saying 'The days are long by the years are short' is so fucking true. You just kind of nod your head when you hear it 'yeah, yeah, whatever' but it's true. Oh it's so very true.

Now that the '100 days of darkness' is passed its truer than ever. When you are in that, when you haven't slept more than 2 straight hours in weeks, and your baby is attached to you more hours than she isn't, and day and night mean nothing, you are praying to everything that it will just be over. When you are pacing the hall up and down, up and down, up and down, for hours because your baby won't stop crying, or needs to fart, you are wishing those hours away. But, now that she has hit 6 months, and she is starting to eat proper food, and reaches for things that she wants, or imitates you, or trying so hard to crawl, you are wishing that time would stop, that she wouldn't grow up so quickly, because blink and you will miss it.

It amazes me how fast babies change. I mean, I knew they grew and learnt a lot in their first year, but absolutely nothing prepared me. She does things today that she couldn't do yesterday. And tomorrow she will do even more. Her brain is a little sponge. Absorbing and growing. It's nice and plastic and it's taking everything in. It's wonderful.

I find it hard to believe she is 6 months old. On one hand I can't remember what life was like without her, it's like she has always been here, and on the other hand it feels like no time at all, that it was only yesterday they were laying her on my chest, that she was fast asleep tucked into me while I was confined to my bed for the first night.

And I have changed immeasurably in this six months. I am forever changed. And I don't want it any other way.